Openness: Openness to life events (people, opinions, and experiences)
This skill is about having an openness to all experiences, rather than a default of resistance to new things. With this approach, we still retain the freedom to choose what we want to say or do, it’s just that we don’t let judgment or fear stop us.
Often people feel they could be open to most things but there are some experiences that they just can’t imagine engaging in. For example, thinking about the good qualities of someone that they dislike, or trying an experience they would not normally have. Another description for this attribute or skill could be broad-mindedness or remaining young of heart.
It’s important to clarify that openness does not have to mean agreement or preference or acting against our values. Rather it is a stance where we are not mentally or emotionally closed to any life events. Here we are not resisting the feelings that come up, but rather we are open to investigating them neutrally. We are able to watch and allow everything that comes up about these experiences without resistance.
Openness is not an easy or automatic thing for many people. It can be confronting to be open to the experiences that life can present us without shrinking back. But for some it’s quite natural to be open to new people or challenging experiences.
This can also include being open to positive life experiences like being loved and trusted by someone. Or, by contrast, being open to the distressing emotions of feeling let down by someone you love. With full openness we are able to understand someone else’s view, even if we disagree. We can see it as: “What I think is the best draft I’ve got at the moment, and I am open to new information which could change my mind”.
In Zen they have a term called “beginner’s mind”. If the student is to progress, they must always be fresh in each moment. They cannot have anything “old” in their mind that stops them from seeing what is happening now in a “new” way.