Mindfulness Skill 8: Relaxation

TRANSCRIPT

Interviewer:

You're listening to the Morning Show here on Youth Jam with Lachlan Bose broadcasting for you today until noon. And right now, as it's a Thursday, I have on the other end of the line, Dr. Patrick Jones. Patrick comes on air each Thursday to discuss a different facet of our mental health. And for the last several weeks we've been looking at mindfulness techniques. So Patrick, we are today looking at relaxation and I thought we could start with you first, highlighting what are the disadvantages of feeling tense. 

Yeah, well, one of the tendencies that people have when they are under pressure is to go into a tense rather than relaxed way to deal with the event. And because the whole body is a processing system, it's not just the mind. When we tense up in the mind, so does the body. So that's one of the issues that can happen. But if I throw in a bit of research, there's this thing called a refractory period, which is the period immediately after we've been stimulated by something like a threat or even something of interest. What happens is a bit of a pause where the system just kind of just stops while it's processing. And what they've found is that when we're stressed, if you like, emotions take priority over thoughts in terms of processing. 

So if we don't have any of that sort of emotional tense response, then the system doesn't have to wait to process all that stuff, it can just simply process our thoughts. In other words, if we're relaxed, our thinking is quicker. And I think that comes out with performance anxiety for people and so on. So basically, tension sort of closes the system down a little bit because it's trying to manage the emotional overload and then we have to wait like it's sort of queuing up like a bottleneck until that's processed and then we can do the bit you want to do. So if we're relaxed, everything just runs much more smoothly, much more efficiently, much more cleanly, and of course, we have a nice life. The big bit. 

Interviewer:

And obviously, relaxation is something that we hear about day to day. But it seems that this is slightly different from what people might be referring to when, say, they come home from a day of work and say, oh, I just want to relax, because you're talking about it in the scope of actually being in the middle of doing something. So how are relaxation and mindfulness different from the relaxation that we might hear about day to day? 

Yeah, well, that is the difference actually, because again, throwing in the research, there's this thing called the Effort Recovery model. We do effort like in work and then we need to recover. But when we're doing sort of a fun thing like leisure, there isn't so much need for recovery because we're just having a nice time. We don't sort of need to have that relaxation afterward. And really, it's sort of the tension that happens in our response to an event. And so I guess the difference with Mindfulness is that it aims to get you relaxing during the event, not after the event. 

And so really, basically, either you can have, you could say, almost a mental tension or a physical tension, but either way, you can pick it up if you're feeling sort of emotionally tense or worried, or if your body is sort of just holding like it's tense itself if they do, like a massage. If you like it, like yep. You're holding a lot of tension here. So they in a sense, obviously a feedback loop and they feed each other. But the whole Mindfulness approach is what we call a sort of natural relaxation response to life events, where a default isn't tense. It's just okay. And it has a lot more of that sort of simple feel to it

Interviewer:

You've mentioned it there briefly, but in the scope of using this technique in general operation, what are we looking to combat and what are the benefits that will come from that? 

Yeah, well, what we're trying to combat is the default of tension. You could say that sometimes, especially with a new thing, people, as they say, there's an event that happens, it can be cast or interpreted three ways as a problem, as a challenge, or as an opportunity. So perhaps a challenge might be in the middle and a bit more neutral. And opportunity is like, okay, what's the good stuff in this? But if we sort of interpret something from that first one as a problem, then immediately the threat response at some level kicks in and we're experiencing unnecessary tension. So really what we're trying to combat, in a sense is that default of seeing life as a risk or seeing a particular event. And it might be not just life as a general thing, but it might be specific things. 

For example, in my inbox in emails, I've had to kind of try and recast my interpretation of a full inbox because I like a zero inbox myself. I like the sort of efficiency, the elegance of just like, it's clean, it's done. And so if there's 20 or 30 new ones, it's like, okay, so what's my default? It's like, is that a workload? So we want to be able to just try and freshen up our default so that it's more neutral. This doesn't have to be necessarily super positive, like, wonderful, look at all these great things I can do. But we're trying to combat that default that is tense and be a bit more flexible with it, more sort of relaxed, knowing that in a sense, that life doesn't start after this so-called problem is fixed. It's occurring now. 

As John Lennon said, life is what happens while we're busy making other plans, life continues to roll, and, again, a lot of the goals research is that 95% of life is happening between goal A to goal B. And so if we're just waiting for goal B to finish and we're tense through that, then 95% of our life, we're not enjoying it. So that's essentially what we're trying to do, is just challenge that default and then just sort of have that more flexible, lighter approach because a large part of life is often presenting us with new things. So if I can do that in a relaxed way, it's just a whole lot more fun, much more relaxed. 

Interviewer:

Absolutely. How do we go about achieving relaxation, as you've talked about in your day-to-day life? 

Yeah, well, I think there are probably two ways that I can sort of throw in the ring at the moment. The first would be the flexible version, which is just watching our reactions to life events and just observing what my tendencies, in a sense, how do what they say mobilize, how do I act in response to events? And almost a rate at zero to ten is often a good little way to just check in even like right now, zero to ten, like how relaxed or tense I am. Zero is there's no tension, just nothing. Ten is just super tense. And then almost to check when there's an event going on, just what's the scale like, if I find it's rising, just why? What am I doing? How am I interpreting this event? 

And is that just an old, what I call an old fuddy-duddy software? It needs a bit of an upgrade. This isn't threatening or this isn't worrying or this isn't a problem, and sort of recast the event as at least just neutral. If you can't get to positive, then at least hit neutral. That's the first thing, is just to observe what my default to innocent life events is and if can I sort of bring it down a notch, keep it more what I call a natural relaxation response. That's the first bit. And of course, we can build this muscle too, this relaxation muscle. And a great and very popular one, of course, is the progressive muscle relaxation method, which I won't go into specifically in terms of doing that now, but it essentially is often, we might call this a body scan. 

You just observe each part of your body, neutrally all the sensations that might be there, tension, even if it's relaxed, and you go through each part of the body, making the muscles sort of feel long, soft, heavy, and it's just sort of slowing the whole system down. And the way we do is we just chunk it really from head-toe as you're going. It's a little bit like a wave of relaxation making its way down the body, top of the head, the sensations back in front of the scalp, just moving down to the rest of the head, the jaw, forehead, making your way down, and then ultimately down to your shoulders and upper arms, hands, fingers, down the torso, stomach, groin, upper back, lower back. 

Just again, just checking each bit and just going, can I just let that relax, like in physio, let that muscle release? And then finally resting attention, making your way down buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet. There's that lovely wave, in a sense, from head to toe, slowly, each muscle group or each part. And then by the end, the system can just be, this is a good body scan. And then I can just rest there. What I've done is I've done a little bit of like a relaxation gym workout, where instead of contracting, extending my muscles, I've just been softening, releasing, relaxing them. Once we've got that skill, we can take it anywhere else when we're feeling it. I'll just have to do a little 32nd body scan, just check in, release the tension, and then yes, done. Okay, good to go. So they're my techniques. 

Interviewer:

Excellent. Now, what we've been finding in a lot of our other discussions is that all of these mindfulness techniques that we've discussed with each successive week kind of bleed into one another and they kind of interrelate. So with that in mind, are there any techniques that we've discussed in the past that can inform this week's exercise? 

Yeah, well, I would say that each of these exercises, or these attributes of mindfulness, are all related. So in a way, I like to see it as being them layering on top of each other. And that if you were looking at sort of ten, but ultimately, if someone was manifesting all ten versions, they'd be just a really clear, open, relaxed human being. So here we have been talking about relaxation, the natural relaxation response to life events, but it neatly links into the other parts of mindfulness, like present moment awareness. If you're being in the moment, not stuck in a sort of worry mode, what I call a virtuality versus reality is relevant. Perhaps also clarity, noticing beliefs that might be arising now that are causing unnecessary worry. 

And then perhaps the neutral one, observing those beliefs without judgment or engaging with them. And then, of course, acceptance that we've looked at recently. The default feelings might be, say, worry or concern or anger or anything, and just see that they come as a result of the beliefs that we've been having and got attached to, and just letting them through, going, is that necessary now? And then, of course, just linking that to what we're talking about today, which is that natural relaxation response of just, in a sense, just being. And of course, that can just be lovely. Once we've sort of moved past all the thoughts and all the feelings and identifying with them all and perhaps sensations, we can find that place beyond all of that, which is what I would call your true nature, just resting, just being here. 

And that's the ultimate place, just to relax, just to be in that space. And from that, we can also live and work and do things, but we're not having often, as I'd say, like what is it in share trading? I've worked with the psychological states of share traders before, trying to get them to manage them because they make bad decisions when they're tense. So just a little bit like all of this mindfulness work is trying to just bring us so that we don't have our well-being attached to those shares, if you like, of things that are important to us in life that are going up or going down. Our well-being goes up and down with them. 

What we're trying to do in all of this work is to be able to just step back from that, still be engaged in life, but have our shares, if you like, or our well-being firmly centered in our true nature, in who we are. And yeah, then life, to me, that's life. That's the beautiful way to live. And you can still contribute and act in the world, but you're coming from that really lovely centered place. Yeah, so they all connect. 

Interviewer:

Something that's sort of registered from me in terms of processing. What you've been talking about, I suppose, is a bit of a distinction that there might be between feeling relaxed and feeling necessarily lethargic in the scope of when you're having to act in the moment. And I feel like people may equate lethargy to relaxation because you're tranquil, but of course, if you're lethargic, you might find it difficult to act and to respond if you're talking about it in the scope of a moment where you need to give a thoughtful response.

Can you talk about that distinction, maybe? 

Yeah, very good. Because what you're highlighting and have done this a few times, which is great, is what they would call the contraindications of mindfulness in research, is when is it not good for you? So, for example, just when were doing the progressive muscle relaxation, I was conscious to not go into a deep progressive muscle relaxation meditation or body scan there because, I don't know, people might be driving a car or operating oh, guess what? Whilst we're sitting, a little piglet has just walked past. I live out in the country and I tell you about the animals that come past you, but anyway, naturally relaxing in the countryside with the animals. So that meditation, for example. They do say not to listen to these things or mantras or whatever, meditations when you're driving or operating heavy machinery. That's kind of your point. 

There are places when we need to be completely alert. So that's one aspect of it. Now you're talking about lethargy, but I think there are ways to be relaxed and alert and I think sometimes people might separate them as being mutually exclusive, one or the other. So where a response is required, and I kind of highlighted this with that refractory period, is that I think if we are relaxed, we're not being troubled by unnecessary emotion.

And that means our thinking process is much cleaner and clearer and more appropriate in terms of being able to give a relevant response. So that sort of deals with that bit in terms of the lethargy bit, which is pretty much the angle you're highlighting as well. Yeah, well, I think that also see, there's a lot to that. 

At one level, sometimes it's important to give a bit of a critique of our productivity versus lethargy. And sometimes people's sense of self is so determined by their productivity, by how much they've achieved, and that they're continually busy. I know some retired people who complain that they're just so busy that it can be you're not saying it has to be, but it can be almost like an addictive thing. So that's my first kind of maybe slightly rambling point. But it's a relevant one, I think, is that perhaps lethargy may be appropriate if we are super overworked or we're in an environment that's just pushing us to deliver things that I don't know whether naturally, they're true for us. So that's my first thing. 

In other words, what my critique is here is sometimes we're so addicted to doing that we have no concept of being, and then when we start relaxing and just being, we might feel bad or guilty. So there is probably or there is a middle way between lethargic and over productive. But I think sometimes you have to sort of work your way through that to be able to find out where that place is for you. That's my first take on that one. I think that's quite a good question, a slightly complex question because I think a lot of us are stuck in over productivity. I think there has to be that middle between being and doing it. Really important journey for people. 

Interviewer:

Looks like I've just come out of the first semester of Uni for the year and finding that I'm now in a zone of wanting to do nothing for about a week. 

Effort recovery model right there. 

Interviewer:

Yeah, but that's also done in the scope of knowing that once the end of the week arrives, I'm likely to feel a little bit guilty for not having done anything, either guilty or bored, and then want to snap back into something and feel like I need a project to preoccupy myself with. Yeah, I suppose. Natural flow. 

And I think there's that place where the goal is ultimately to find where that way of being Plato said to be is to do. In other words, I think when we're being true to ourselves, doing can be a natural expression. And there's a lot of great research on flow and just that when we're in this flow, we're doing something natural and true for us. There isn't any sense of friction or work because it's an expression of who we are.

And I think that's the ideal place to define sometimes we do need to create that extra level of when that motivation isn't therefore something that we believe is still important. But ultimately, where I think we want to get to is that beautiful place of being expressed as doing which we call flow. 

Interviewer:

Yeah. Well, with that in mind, Patrick, thanks for getting in touch with us again this week on Youth Jam. Hope to speak to you again next week. 

Yep, that sounds good. Always very fertile conversations. 

Interviewer:

Of course. All right. Take care, Patrick.